When working towards reaching our goals, we must pay attention to both the physical actions we take and the emotional state we feel. Our emotions can play a more important role than our actions because what we feel can affect what we do and the outcome that we achieve. Therefore, understanding what you feel and how it affects your goals is important.
Margaret Lynch spoke about the secret language of emotions during the 2014 Tapping World Summit. She summarizes her experience working with clients dealing about their emotions, uncovering the truth about each emotion, and how to embrace those feelings to empower you.
Margaret says that feelings are always speaking to you and are communicating to you about one certain message: how to become more you. Our feelings act as a compass that guides us to get in alignment with our life purpose. Therefore, we need to listen to our emotions, honor it, and know what it’s calling us to do.
You might think that you ought to listen to only the good emotions you feel, but Margaret says otherwise. It’s our bad emotions that need listening the most, and contain the honest truth about what we are facing in life and whether we need to make a correction or not.
Although it might sound frightening or counter-productive, Margaret recommends us to dive into our emotion first, regardless of whether it is good or bad, and find relief from the bad emotions before starting to use it to empower ourselves.
The first emotion that most of us feel is anger.
Anger comes from a sense of fairness, or feeling that unfair conditions happen to us. The language we use is that “we deserve better.” At first, we might try to not feel angry or try to calm ourselves down, but Margaret says to embrace the anger.
Saying that you deserve better is a good feeling, it means you know your self worth. That anger is calling you to become more powerful, to stand up for yourself, to go out there and get what you want to get.
Anger is an indication that you are far from living your full power, from being empowered and living your life purpose. Once you understand that anger comes from knowing you deserve better, you can embrace the power and use it to reach your goals.
I should add that “deserve” and “fairness” comes from after you have done the effort, not from feeling entitled to an outcome. There is a type of anger that comes from feeling entitled, but that does not give you any power whatsoever.
The second emotion we often feel is sadness.
Sadness comes from a sense of loss, sadness from everything that you have lost and everything that you never got to have. The language we use is that “nobody understands how hard it is for me.”
Often times, sadness can come after anger. Women tend to identify being sad more than men, while men identify being angry. But women can be angry before sad, and men can be sad after angry too. When you are feeling sad, there might be elements of anger that you need to embrace.
Similar to anger, sadness is calling you to bring something into your life or to renew something. If you have lost something precious, perhaps it’s time to renew it. The sadness is nudging you to enter a new phase in your life or to make a big change that you want to make deep down in your heart.
When checking our emotions, Margaret warns to be cautious about saying “I should have known better.” Some people avoid being angry or sad and instead place the blame on themselves. That is dangerous behavior because it doesn’t empower you, instead it takes power away from you.
If you ever say that you should have known better, try to acknowledge the emotion you feel instead. Feeling angry or sad isn’t weak or irresponsible, as long as you understand it and find the power from it. Once you can get to the bottom and listen to the secret language of your emotions, you are free to feel and free from becoming a prisoner of your emotions.